Getting my Hands Dirty

13 August 2014

Oh how I love Dollar General


Last week I wrote about visualizing my dreams and goals and I am happy to report that I have bought some new art supplies! I'm still working on the multi-colored chalk, amongst other things...

I think vision + intent + action is a magic combination. At the beginning of the Summer I was feeling out of sorts what with everything in my life being stirred up once again (graduation, moving, new job, etc). So I started thinking about what I could do to bring back my drive and inspiration. What I ended up doing was reaching out to some of my creative friends about collaborations and that got the old creative juices flowing once again. I wanted to work on projects for the love of creating new and beautiful things. That is where I decided to start and it put my mind in a better place.

Since then, a lot has happened. I have taken in a dog (an unexpected part of the journey) and renewed my commitment to my original dreams and goals. I truly believe that having the company of the dog and the added exercise has lifted my spirits and opened me up to all the things I love and had shoved aside for a time. I feel like I'm getting back to me, finally! Facing the Music has also helped put a lot into perspective.

Last night I was chatting with a friend about all my experiences in Scotland and what had inspired me down this path and I felt such a resurgence of love and purpose. It was like every piece fit together once again.

I got into all this to use food and creativity to help others and create community! It's a long and winding road to be sure :)

XO

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Life is what Happens When YOu’re MAking Other Plans

11 August 2014

I call him "Sam"


I have learned the true meaning of that particular song lyric over the past week or so. For the people who I am friends with on Facebook, this will come as no surprise...but I have a wee doggy staying with me and unless his original owners come back for him (we've put up notices) then he's staying for good. I've heard that we don't choose our pets, our pets choose us...and I really get that now...

Whether or not it's a "smart" decision...well, that doesn't really seem to matter. It was the only decision. He basically adopted me. From the second he started running towards me, I had this odd feeling of "that's MY dog." Totally bizarre. He hasn't left my side since...he even braved the growls and snarls of the resident dogs to be near me. He's my little champ.

I've decided that I need to let my life happen and live me once in a while. There's a purpose to everything and I could feel the difference having him around created inside me right away. We go on walks a lot, so I get more exercise, and it forces me to look beyond myself and live in the moment. I think there will be a lot of very important gifts and lessons from all of this. I realize that I spend a lot of time living in the past or in the future. It's time to be in the now.

So, as I write this, Sam is sitting on my front porch, waiting on me. I am still on guard in case his owners come back or if we find out something undesirable at the vet...but in the meantime, I'm enjoying his devotion and company.


XO

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Facing the Music

04 August 2014

Toy Bagpipes, Edinburgh - 2011

It's time to be honest. Even with all the positive things going on in my life right now (graduating from health coaching and culinary school, a new job) I have been feeling an emptiness deep down inside. I haven't felt joyous every time I get up to start my day. I have been confused and worried about these feelings and then I connected to the heart of the matter. I miss Scotland. I miss it to the depths of my soul. Well, the good news is that I've been in this place before...

While I was busy with two schools and a part time job this past year I barely had time for anything else, so no hard core pining for Scotland. Now, I have time and I feel the loss quite acutely.

So what do I do now you might ask??? I have been asking myself this too and the answer is, start at the beginning. But this time, it's a shiny new beginning. This time, I am starting from a totally different me. It's Lee Ann 2.0.

I've started reading through my blog...retracing the amazing journey that I have created thus far. I was even reading some old interviews I did on a friend's website and one part jumped out at me:


"I’ve been thinking, on and off, for a while now that I might want to become a life coach some day.  Or at least get trained to be one. I think it would go along really nicely with what I’ve been creating with The Lion’s Share."

That was in September, 2010. Pretty awesome, right?

I simply cannot deny that Scotland has become a permanent thread, woven deep inside of me and each time I have had to tear myself away to the states, the hole that's left in it's place gets bigger.

Life is a spiral, after all...

So here I am, seemingly right back where I began, but oh so much closer.




XO


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Cooking Improv

01 August 2014

Mixed Green Salad

As of today, I've officially been a personal chef for 2 months. Time certainly does fly and my head spins when I think about how far I've come...

In my last post I talked about how I improvise most of my dishes instead of going by recipes. I tend to use what I have in the kitchen and make it all work. I kind of prefer it that way. 

A few years ago, I used to play a poetry game where you were provided with the words and could only use a certain number of them. I LOVED this game and I came up with some of the simplest yet beautiful poems. I think I've been cooking in that spirit lately.

One of the techniques I learned in culinary school was risotto style rice. It was not the first time I'd made risotto but it was the first time I was graded on it! Risotto is not hard, but it is time consuming and all consuming since you can't leave the pan. You add the liquid, hot, one ladle at a time and let the rice soak it up. When it all gets delightfully creamy, you know you've done it right. 

I love risotto.

So, I decided to make some for my new employers. I made the risotto and added crawfish tails, collard greens and some curry. Completely awesome.

Here is a "Risotto Recipe for Beginners" that can get you started. Then you can take the technique and create your own masterpieces!





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Learn SOmething New Every Day

28 July 2014

Fun, down by the river

I haven't actually learned how to drive a 4-wheeler...yet....this photo was staged :) But some day I probably will. What can I say, when on a farm...

Ever since I went to Iona for the first time in 2009, I tend to live my life by saying YES whenever the opportunity to try something new comes up. You never know when some of these random experiences and new skills might come in handy down the road.


Power washing made me feel powerful :)

I do drive the kubotas...it's quite fun. I feel like I could apply for a job as a wild-life park tour operator now...lol.


XO

P.S. My July Newsletter will be out soon! If you haven't already signed up, you can do so HERE.

Puppy Love

02 June 2014

Hanging out on the patio


One of the many blessings I had while staying with my friend down here in Louisiana during Culinary School, was the opportunity to live with a dog again. It has been a wonderful part of the journey...

While here I have experienced the loss of an older, sick dog and the welcoming of a new, bouncy puppy all in under a year. An emotional ride to be sure. It has reminded me of what it was like growing up with my childhood dog and the loss of her as well.

Something I really love is the fact that Roux, the puppy, likes to snuggle up to you in bed. We're talking full on spooning (and she is getting pretty big).

My friend, Roux's owner, writes a blog dedicated to finding the "Thin Places" in our world. I think any time an animal shows enough trust and contentment in your company to lay their head on your neck and sigh that sigh...well, I think that is a very thin place. One of my most precious pet memories is the last time I laid down next to my old dog, forehead to forehead...just sharing breath.

I will miss the snuggles but am glad I have experienced the difference having a pet around can make (and watching a puppy experience the world for the first time is such a joy). And I won't be too far away to get in some puppy time once in a while.

XO

Let Yourself be Silently Drawn

26 May 2014

"By The Stronger Pull Of What You Really Love."

This has been my favorite quote for a long time now, and I return to these words over and over again. There are periods of struggle and periods of not so much happening. There are times when I work really really hard and am really really clear on what I want...and there are others when I don't know much of anything. One thing always seems to happen though, At some point amidst all this chaos...I let go. And then things start coming to me...

I have decided to own the fact that I sort of suck at dealing well with transitional periods. Even when things are going well! I'm not sure why, and it depends on the circumstances but I admit it, I am not a champ in between times. Maybe it's all the un-knowns staring me in the face, the overwhelm.

This year has been a struggle...all for the greater good, but I forgot myself at times. I got so caught up in the "what ifs" and "hows" and what other people were doing. That is usually when nothing seems to go right and everything feels out of reach. I had moments of surrender, thank goodness...moments when I reminded myself of my essence and why I was on this journey. That is when things started to come to me once again.

I have found that I get bored and depressed when I don't feel like I have a purpose, or when I feel stifled. I also know that I am addicted to Awesome so I can't ever not be doing or planning something I deem amazing in one way or another. I think that always wanting to push or top ourselves is a great way to keep moving forward and learning new things. Take chances or nothing will ever change.

My focus has shifted to the future now that I'm newly graduated from culinary and health coaching school. I have accepted a job as a personal chef! So that means I will be staying in Louisiana a bit longer than expected. I'm really excited to have found a job where I can use all the things I've been studying and doing for the past few years! Who knew that when I was keeping house and cooking for myself...wondering how I could get paid to do all that...that someday I would!

Following graduation, I decided to take some time to re-group and follow what I love once again. The only problem was that, you guessed it, I don't handle transitions well! And I was uber burnt out. I ended up sleeping a lot...and surrendering.

The problem was that throughout the year, and all the learning, I'd gotten so worried about doing things the "Wrong" way that I'd forgotten about MY way.

So, I've been reminding myself with walks, sleeping in, and reading my herbal teacher, Robin Rose Bennett's new book "The Gift of Healing Herbs." I sat outside while my friend's puppy played and immediately got lost in it's pages. It was as if I was back, sitting in her garden once again, learning about the plants (in fact, there's something about the book that makes me want to read it only outside). This was a piece of my essence. Over the past few days I have also reintroduced self care into my routine (massage, pedicure, walks, swimming...and the herbs). I also cooked again after taking some time off from that as well. The puppy has helped, too :)

This is what's happening in my world right now. I'll be staying on in Louisiana, letting myself continue to be drawn by that stronger pull and filling in the blanks with my essence. Sometimes I think we also need to connect the dots along with going with the flow (especially when life throws us things we didn't expect). When I step back and look at where I was a couple of years ago (having a blog is great for this) ...even 1 year ago...I can hardly believe the changes. When I left my job and life in New York for Scotland, just about 2 years ago, I went (with faith) in search of a better life...a better me. Now I am embarking on the life that seemed completely abstract at the time. Iona was, indeed, just the beginning...

Hello, Again! (Walking on Mull - Scotland, 2012. Photo by Dawn Young)

XO

My May newsletter will be coming out soon! You can sign up for it HERE. And if you'd like to receive links to the back issues, drop me a line at lionartcoach [at] gmail.com.

Brave New World

20 May 2014

The Bottom of my Bread Bowl


I've been on a little hiatus the last few weeks. I finished my Externship at a cafe in Shreveport, returned to school for some finishing up and then crashed. This should not have come as a surprise to me since I've been running on all cylinders for quite a while now. So, since graduation on the 16th I've basically slept and walked a puppy...

This is me easing back in to the blogosphere.

One of the things I've been thinking about is bravery and courage. Pretty much everything that's going on with my right now requires some level of bravery. The funny thing is that I thought, that because I was/am experiencing fear and or nerves associated with these choices or decisions that I'm not brave. It was pointed out to me that bravery is feeling all this and doing it all anyway (Feel the fear and Do it Any Way). I've sort of gotten used to certain kinds of fear...like quitting my job, going back to college, etc etc. It all sort of became a do or die kind of situation.

Now all of those choices are rolling over into starting a new job/career (more on that later) and trying to establish a social life (after pushing that to the back burner for a long time). Putting myself out there and seeing what happens always pushes me a little outside of my comfort zone. I suppose that is the next fear to tackle.

One thing I am trying to hold true to is that I am determined to enjoy my life...which is why all these decisions induce some fear. I am always a little worried about making a choice that will cause me to be unhappy. However, I have begun to realize that there are no right or wrong choices because they all have led me to where I am now.

XO

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A New Day Has Begun

03 February 2014

Hot Springs Arkansas - 2014


I had a rather difficult time last week. I was more tired than I've been in a long time and it took it's toll on my mood. After the wretchedness sort of peaked during a quick fire in culinary school I decided that I needed an attitude adjustment this week...

I stopped, got some extra sleep and shifted my focus. I started out my Sunday by sending some long over due emails, singing in the choir at church and listening to some tunes while driving to get groceries.

I decided to start my new attitude off with a song I heard for the first time on Iona in 2012. It's called "A New Day Has Begun" by Roddy Woomble.


Perfect words to reset by:


"Abandon your traditions
Watch them disappear one by one
And follow their direction
Between the moon and the sun

A new day has begun

Abandon your possessions
Watch them disappear one by one
Follow their direction
Between the bones and the trees and the moon and the sun

A new day has begun

I remember the day I heard it
The Impossible Song and the other songs
The tiny detail of every day
And nothing more to give away
And I trust my expectations
'Cause like good songs, they can always be sung
To the tune of another song

Abandon your ambitions
You're overwhelmed by what you haven't done
And it doesn't last for ever
Not even the moon and the sun

A new day has begun

Forget all those promises
That only fools remember
And you'll be dazzled by the dark
Troubled by the stars
Short on regret
Burnt by the sun

A new day has begun

I woke up early this morning
And the birds were singing their impossible songs
They have that notion every day
With plenty more than I can say
And I trust their expectations
And like good songs, they can always be sung
To the tune of another song"


XO


I also sent out my first Newsletter this past Saturday morning! You can see it HERE.

Lee Ann Monat, Health Coach

21 January 2014

Fordyce Bath House - Hot Springs, Arkansas


It feels weird to be announcing this, since it seems like only yesterday that I decided to go to school for health coaching, but I can officially say I am a health coach! I have business cards and everything...

In November I received my mid year certificate that allows me to work with clients! I have been shy about officially announcing this news for some reason. I suppose it is a scary thing when dreams are realized. It's a pretty powerful realization...when we see what hard work paired with dreaming will do.

I have experienced this over and over again the past few years. Once you set an intention for your life...things fall into place. We do need to be tapped into our intuition to create change, and be willing to take an honest look at our whole life...not just what we eat and how much we exercise. We have to treat the whole person...

And I am so pleased to be able to say that I am here to help support you in your journey!

I have been so fortunate in my life. I started out my journey a lost, shy, soul who needed help and I was gifted with amazing people who appeared just when I needed them (this still happens, btw). I felt such a mess in the beginning! I never thought I'd be where I am now. 

NOW, I want to be one of those people for someone.

I am still in school for health coaching (I graduate in the Spring!) but we are allowed to start seeing clients at the midway point. Initial health consultations are always free. I would love to hear from you and get to know you better! You can find out more info about consultations HERE.

As most of my blog readers know, I am also currently in culinary school! I hope to fuse my culinary, herbal and health coaching skills together in the future. Cooking and healthy living workshops! Retreat space!!! Travel!!!

I am working on a blogging and health coaching schedule that will take my culinary school work into account. I invite you to join me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest for more continuous activity! 

My first newsletter is also currently in production. I am aiming to put one out at the end of each month. You can sign up for my free newsletter HERE. It will include exclusive content, recipes and some free, downloadable goodies. I also have a contest for health coaching bouncing around in my brain....still need to work on the logistics of that.


I hope to hear from you soon!

XO

Peace is the word

07 January 2014

Driving to Louisiana - August, 2013


I don't make New Year's resolutions. I do, however, pick a word of intent in the New Year. I don't usually have to think too hard...just close my eyes and it appears. This year, my word is PEACE...

And by "Peace," I don't mean I am going to work tirelessly towards achieving world peace (although that would be nice), what I do mean, is that I am going to make an effort at inner peace. I sort of lost my way towards the end of last year. So many new things were happening and I let the peace go.

My word for 2012 was BRAVERY. That Spring I left everything behind and went to Scotland for 7 months...

In 2013 it was LOVE. That winter and Spring I reconnected with Iona folks here in the states and began a new chapter in my life with training to be a health coach and starting culinary school. I needed show myself a lot of LOVE through everything (and didn't always succeed).

2014 shall bring PEACE. That is my goal. Peace with decisions, work, school, relationships etc.



"Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of these things and still be calm in your heart." -- Unknown


Some of the ways I have started (or would like to start) keeping the peace include:

• Writing all my daily tasks down so I can see them and cross them off (No more rattling around in my head!)

• Looking into a gym so I can possibly take a cardio kickboxing class (to work out any stress or anger that might occur)

• Creating lists and jotting down ideas in my planner...staying organized (so my brain won't short out and forget)

• Re-organizing my living/working space so that I feel motivated to get to work!

• Daily Gratitude (Making a daily gratitude list really helps keep the love factor up...and improves overall mood. Especially when you do it when you aren't feeling all that grateful!)

• Noticing beauty and blissful moments in "ordinary" things.

• As many massages as my budget will allow

• Getting back to yoga

• Allowing more time for herbal teas and natural product making (Self Care is important!)

• Letting go of things that no longer serve me

• Going easier on myself when I make mistakes! (They are all part of the journey)

• Getting myself some health coaching!

• Surrounding myself with inspiring/supportive/like-minded/loving friends

• Pursuing my dreams and starting my new livelihood!

• Enjoying life!

• Being present

It's a start ;)

What is your word for 2014?

This is a prayer card I bought while on Iona. I carry it in my wallet:






XO

Interested in my free newsletter!? I will begin sending it out at the end of January. It will include exclusive content, free goodies, recipes and health and wellness tips! Please sign up HERE!

New Year’s Day

01 January 2014

Post Christmas Shopping in Galveston, TX


Happy New Year! I have been putting off writing a new blog for a while now because my head has been pretty muddled. So I am taking steps to clear the murkiness and emerge with more clarity in 2014…

How to sum up this past year? It's been a whirlwind of trying to find my footing and way again. I'm getting there, but the road isn't always easy. A few of the blogs I routinely read chose to reflect differently this year. One did a review of 2014…writing it up the way she wants it to go...and the other had us look back 10 years to revisit where we were in 2004 to see how far we've come.

Ten years ago, at this time, my Father was dying of cancer and I had yet to visit Scotland. My current life has been shaped entirely by what has happened in the past 10 years. It's wild to to think about.

2014 is pretty much going to start off as a prep year. I still have a lot of school work to do and am in the process of setting up my health coaching business. I have also begun researching ideas for returning to Scotland. That is always on my To Do list.

I don't necessarily want to dwell on 2013. It has been sort of askew for me. Mostly confused with a lot I was pushing away/didn't want to face. I did a lot of coping and dwelling and finally found a thread to grab onto which brought things back into focus.

On this day, last year, I was taking a New Year's Day walk with friends in England. I was facing returning to the States after living in Scotland (my dream) for 7 months and pretty much in denial of that. It felt so right to be in the UK…something deep inside…that I couldn't imagine having to leave. But leave I had to do.

Then came the time to figure out what to do next…and it was a lengthy process which finally began to straighten out while visiting my cousin. I remember having a rather passionate discussion in her car about how people eat and how they think it's healthy but it really isn't. I was so intense over it all and I thought…"I want to work with this somehow." The other piece clicked into place when, while in my cousin's kitchen, I said the fateful words, "Maybe I should go to culinary school."

You'd think it would have been obvious, no?

So one thing led to another…synchronicity kicked in full force…and here I am, halfway into earning a technical certificate in culinary arts as well as integrative health coaching.



2013 brought a lot of gifts and some loss. I cannot say it was my most joyous year…but it was a very significant part of the journey. I reconnected with some old acquaintances who have turned into amazing new friends, I traveled in and through every state in New England, lived in California for a little while and ended up down in Louisiana. All of this wouldn't have happened if not for my incredible network of friends (some of whom I met in Scotland...random meetings sometimes lead to a bigger piece of the puzzle). I am very grateful for you all.



Following our bliss is not always a joyous easy thing. It is marked with spells of doubt and difficult times. We have to do the work in order to make it to the next awesome peek.

I am looking towards 2014 with renewed purpose and an eye for doing things in a new way. No resolutions, just a gentle urging to make things better one day at a time.


XO


P.S. One of the new things I am striving to do is a newsletter! If you are interested, please sign up HERE.

Changes in Blogland

14 October 2013

School Uniform


So, as you can imagine, I've been rather busy lately. I am finally getting a taste of what people go through when working multiple jobs and or putting themselves through school. It's tiring! But I am chugging along...

This blog has been one of the victims and since I don't want you all to think I have forgotten you, I am going to attempt at least one post a week...even if it's a photo.
 
Here is a little update about what I am up to right now:
 
My health coach training is quickly approaching the halfway mark (I can't believe it!) and that means I will be getting my mid year certificate, which allows me to begin working with actual clients! So if anyone is interested in more info, please drop me a line! (see contact page). I am putting together a little email newsletter about all this too, so if you're in my contact list you will be hearing from me (feel free to send me your email address if you'd like to be added to the list. 
 
Culinary school is in it's second month (I have my Chef's coat!) and we have had to do a few quick fire challenges! That will probably be the subject of a whole other post :)
 
I have officially joined the choir at Asbury United Methodist Church so I can get my music on...now if I can somehow fit the violin in there I'll be golden.
 
And last, but not least, I am hoping to branch into teaching classes at my part time place of work, Shelby Lane's Closet...where we do antiqued items  made from reclaimed wood.
 
I guess I'm making up for all the between time after I left Iona :)

Beets Please

09 August 2013

Fairfax Farmer's Market Beets...Yum!


This post is going to be short and sweet. Literally :) I am currently getting ready to set off on my epic road trip to Louisiana, so have been busy packing instead of cooking. I did want to post something today though so I thought I'd give a quick shout out to one of my favorite veggies, the beet...

Beets are SO good for you. They are rich in vitamins and minerals, cancer fighting, a great source of energy and you can even dye fiber with the juice!!! How cool is that?

Another important thing to note is that if you have a sweet tooth and would like to cut back on desserts, including beets and other sweet veggies in your diet will help curb those sugar cravings.

They are also a great detoxifier for the liver, which is what I have been focusing on the most. So many of our issues stem from a sluggish liver so it's been a main focus of mine lately.

Beets are SO good any which way. I love them plain or pickled...baked or roasted. I've even made a slaw with raw beets and green apple in the past. I have even seen them used in baked goods (beet juice is used to dye red velvet cake).

How do you like to eat beets?

XO

The blog will be going on a little break until I get myself settled down in Louisiana. So until then, follow your bliss!

Out with the Old

31 July 2013

Yoga Garden Studio - San Anselmo, CA


I LOVE synchronicity. This is what has started happening again in my life since I found the way back to my essence and my purpose...

Currently, I am freshly back from California trying to readjust to East Coast living...specifically New York City. But I won't be here for long. I have a couple days of down time here and then it's back to Connecticut and more packing for my next epic road trip. This time to the South for culinary school.

But back to synchronicity.

On Monday I wrote about identity and how we hold on to our stories...sometimes even false ones...and then when I showed up to yoga class there was a teacher I hadn't met yet and the class revolved around releasing old patterns.

How cool is that???

Synchronicity. Something I love and it's something that comes into our lives when we begin to bring everything else into balance. Sure I have money stresses and nerves about a new town and school but I can feel that I'm on the right road since I am following my purpose.


XO

Who Are You?

29 July 2013

Jamie, Reading, in Galveston TX


A lot of what I have been thinking about lately revolves around identity. Who am I when I'm at home...

While in yoga class recently, the teacher was talking to us about this idea. How we tend to cling to ideas about who we are...and sometimes these ideas are wrong.

I went through a bit of this soul searching when I got my new iPhone, but I've been thinking about it more and more.

A little over a month ago I would have said that I was a sluggish shell of my former glory, living in my hometown and feeling lost after having just spent 7 glorious months living in the only place I feel truly at home...somewhere I feel my essence.

Today I am in California, training to be a health coach, doing yoga every day, and about to head down to Louisiana for a culinary arts course. I am also forming plans for my future UK return.

Our faces may change, but our essence remains the same (it's all very Doctor Who).

I still cling to old stories now and again. Right now I am harboring some fears about finding a job down in Louisiana. I'm not necessarily afraid of not finding one...I am more afraid of being treated poorly in the one I get. This is all stemming from the fact that all the kitchen or service related jobs I've had in the past were crappy. Why I'm choosing to look at the situation through a 16-18 year old's eyes instead of my (almost) 35 year old eyes is a mystery to me, but that is essentially what is happening. I am clinging to an old story.

So that means it's time to tap back into that essence and step into my next phase with positive energy and all the feminine power I can muster. After all,  I do have a little bit more life experience and social skills than when I last ventured out into the job market.

Tomorrow I fly back East and see who I am there now.

XO

Who do you think you are?

Taking the Long Way

17 July 2013

Findhorn Village, Scotland - 2008



Lately, I love taking the long way. In the most literal sense, right now, it involves me walking about 10 minutes out of my way to go to yoga class in order to get more exercise....

In a more abstract way, it applies to my life path right now.

I have been struggling a lot when it comes to finding my place, where I want to be. This is one of the reasons I've been embracing all my most recent travel and choosing to go to culinary school in Louisiana.

But as I wrote on here a while back...in Addicted to Awesome...I need to get myself back to the UK. The more I travel and the more time I've had to stay in various places, I see that my time HERE is merely a hiatus. I feel that so strongly and more sure than I ever had before.

Life is all about intention.

My friend, Bruce, posted this on my Facebook wall a while back. It really does say it all:



Originally attributed to Goethe, this quote is actually from W. H. Murray in The Scottish Himalaya Expedition, 1951. This quote has been proven countless times in my life.

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: 

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. 
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!"



The last time I had this feeling...my whole life shifted and changed.



So I am publicly declaring that I shall be on a plane back to Edinburgh at some point in 2014. UK friends, get ready to hear from me!


XO

Vulnerable

15 July 2013

Showing Our Cracks Can Be Beautiful (Tree in Inverness, Scotland - 2008)


I have a sort of LOVE/hate relationship with vulnerability. It has been my friend disguised as a nemesis for quite some time now. I used to think it was a form of weakness but now I see how far from the truth that is. Being vulnerable is SO HARD, therefore a huge sign of strength...

I started thinking about this last Wednesday morning. I've been working very hard at allowing myself to be more vulnerable these days. I mostly see it as a relationship issue but it seems to creep up on me in other areas of my life as well.

I've been exploring speaking my heart and mind a lot more lately and it's the fear preceding the words that is the scariest thing of all. Yeah, of course we might get a gutting reaction...but bravery and good things all involve some amount of risk, right?

But what about vulnerability in business? Showing the human side of yourself, including your fears? Is that to be done?

While reading a wonderful article by my friend Andrea (of The Creative Dream Incubator) last Wednesday morning, I posted a comment about my fears regarding marketing myself and wanting to create a foundation and trust between me, my readers and (hopefully) future clients. I'm on the road to entrepreneurship with my health coaching and dreams of a holistic retreat-type business so I will have to put myself out there, but I cringe at marketing my stuff. I've been suffering with the idea surrounding my art for AGES.

I had my moment of terror when I posted a heartfelt comment about my fear of putting my work and services out there, in case I might "bother people," and unbeknownst to me it was a Facebook comment and went right up on my FB wall. That's what you get when you sleepily read articles on your iPad in bed, first thing in the morning. I went off to get some tea and came back to my new status...

Talk about vulnerable!

I immediately deleted it for fear of seeming "sleazy," but when I think about it rationally I know and hope that my friends understand I am anything but.

I pride myself in my loyalty and care. These are things I will bring to my business whenever I am ready to begin it all. Trust and love are the two most important things in my life...oh yes, and laughter too.

So that's me bringing a bit more vulnerability on here.

XO

Moments of Light

10 July 2013

Lights on the back porch, San Anselmo


Today's LOVE is about enlightened moments. I've been having quite a few of them lately and that shows me that I'm coming back into alignment with my true self. She had gotten a bit covered over in the past few months but is making a new appearance, thank goodness...

Yet another thing that I have learned, or rather re-learned in my health coach training course is that synchronicity will start happening when you bring your life into balance. Now, I'm not saying that my life is in perfect balance, but it is certainly getting back on track. As a result I am finding that I feel grounded enough to say the things I want to say to people and move on. This has been a very freeing thing for me! I think this has been a very important turning point for me since I can hold things inside due to fear or something. It's been a part of me for so long I'm not really sure of the whys.

I realized, too, that I had gotten away from focusing on the essence of what I want my life to feel like. Way back when I decided to shake everything up, focusing on the essence instead of specifics made all the difference in the world because it allowed things I'd never thought of to flow right on in.

So, I'm speaking my mind and feeling the essence.

It's a place I LOVE.


XO

Living Outside the Box

08 July 2013

 
Studying in the Great Outdoors


In this time of transition and limbo, I've been thinking about my life a lot. What was, is and will be. I've been facing a lot of uncomfortableness and some demons as well and even though it's been difficult, I am blessed to have this time. I have also slowly been realizing how many dreams have been manifesting right under my nose...

Back when I worked in my cubicle at TV Guide Magazine, I remember looking at articles online or some Facebook posts of friends who were off doing amazing and varied things. I remember thinking to myself, "How do they manage all that!?" and "How are they paying for stuff???" I thought, "That could never be me." But now here I am...out there doing stuff and I realized that I am one of those people.

Now, I'm not going to lie. My financial state is a bit of a worry but I am resting in the knowledge that everything will work out okay regarding work. After all, I am retraining myself for a different path of employment. I've also been so incredibly lucky because I've had friends and family helping me out a lot. Their kindness is enabling me to coast a bit further on my savings and I am enormously grateful and in awe of how generous and kind people can be. It seems as if someone always comes out of the woodwork, offering help, just when I need it.

Even with all these blessings, I had a bit of a muddled day after going camping last week. I kept wondering what the heck it is that I'm doing, anyway!? And right when I was exhausted by the question, I ended up being the only one in yoga class (it was the day after the 4th of July and I guess everyone was sleeping off the fireworks and BBQ). The teacher and I had a chat during which I brought up the whole idea of me not feeling worthy of this time of rest since I'm not working and earning money, but rather living off of my savings (what I had planned over a year ago for when I returned from volunteering on Iona). She pointed out that even though I'm not "working" right now, that I had worked very hard to be able to have this time! Then we went into the practice and by the end I had a clearer head. Money can bring up a whole slew of different issues within us.

When I had relaxed a bit, I realized that by doing all the varied things I've been doing...living in different places and studying various things...I am creating the layered and eclectic lifestyle I've always dreamed of but never indulged my thoughts in too much. When that occurred to me I was thrilled!

I still have moments of doubt and worry...but all of this is for a purpose I am sure. This time is allowing me to sample all different ways of life, places and ideas. It's helping me clarify what I really want my life to be.

Living counter-culturally on Iona for 7 months and now ironing out future school and more travel plans is sort of what I was daydreaming about in my cubicle not too long ago. So anything is possible if you shake things up and plan a wee bit.


XO

Here are some photos from my recent camping trip:



Jamie was my tent-mate

Swimming Hole



Sitting by the lake at the campground