Have Car, Will Travel

24 April 2013

Sight Seeing in Maine, 2013


Today I am off on another local adventure! I'm driving to Hartford to get my car serviced (always a trip), meet my cousin for lunch, and then out to New Paltz, New York for a cheese making workshop! I'm more than willing to travel far for love these days, and I do love cheese...

Once upon a time I would have thought driving all the way to New Paltz for an evening class was too much but for days I'd been saying how much I want to learn how to make cheese and then I saw the facebook invite pop up on my home page. So I emailed and mentioned I was thinking about going, but it's a bit of a drive. 

That afternoon I get an email back saying that there will be a place for me to sleep at the farm if I need one...and then my cousin, who I'd been wanting to see, says it will be a shorter drive from her area than my house in CT (and I had to take my car out there anyway).

Coincidence? Maybe.

But I like to think the Universe is listening to me.

(I've also found out there will be a bonfire!) 

XO

Creating a Life

23 April 2013

A little bit of Iona on my desk


I believe it all started back in 2010 when I embarked on a year of Creative Dreaming. I'd been wanting to change my life for a while and really started to get serious that year...in the wake of my first Iona pilgrimage. I had set the dream in motion...

I began to surround myself with things that reminded me of the dream or caused me to soak in its essence. These are really powerful tools, let me tell you!

I would wear jewelry that I'd gotten in Scotland over the years, and yes, a little bit of tartan. I'd watch and read inspiring things, drink whisky and Scottish beer...okay, so I don't need an excuse to drink whisky and beer... ;)

Oh yeah, and I visited Scotland...that helped a lot...

I created an iTunes playlist that embodied my dream and would listen to it on the subway. This is not made up of all Celtic songs (okay, there are a few) but instead any piece of music that represented my journey as a whole...where I had been and where I hoped to travel next.

I put photos up all around my apt that represented who I am now and where I want to go...removing all old images that held me in the (negative) past.

As I got more serious, the dream became a more internal thing...I was less tourist, more real...if that makes any sense.

I also have Iona stones and sand on my office desk and on my coffee table at home. I have a lovely memory of dropping to my knees on the way to the ferry last April...scooping up some (damp) sand and quickly shoving it into a plastic bag before leaving the island. When I poured it into an emptied out serenity garden, back in New York a week later, it was still wet...so I took one last breath of Iona before it dried. Delicious.

After a little while I didn't even have to make the effort to put myself inside the dream any more because the dream began to come to me.





And now that the dream is actually happening, I find that I don't need these charms as much as I did before. Everything has broken wide open and my horizon feels endless. 

Creating a life is an extraordinary thing.

XO

P.S. You can read more about how I have been pursuing my dream HERE on abcCreativity. I tried to arm myself with as many tools as possible.

Springing Forward

22 April 2013

Pemaquid, Maine - March 2013


Spring has sprung and even though it is still a wee bit chilly here in Connecticut, I can feel the changes in the air. I have been a bit restless with all the brimming possibilities starting to pool around me yet still in the distance. I've been taking steps toward them all but waiting has never been one of my stronger qualities. I tend to want things, well, when I want them...

This is not helpful when trying to chart the unknown territories of life. I mean, seriously, everything is an unknown even when you try to plan. And perhaps I am feeling a little bit of angst for the changes. However, despite the uncomfortable feelings, one amazing thing has occurred to me...

I am not afraid of "choosing the wrong thing."

This used to plague me and hold me hostage. I would take forever to make a new move because I was afraid it might be wrong. I think, since leaving my job of 11 years and moving to Scotland for 7 months, nothing can really worry me when it comes to plotting out my life. The lead up to that decision was SO long in coming and plagued with worry right up until I committed to the final plan. And then I had absolutely no doubt. I wasn't sure where it would lead, I only knew I was going in the right direction. While on Iona I began to think of life as having some sort of "Divine GPS" because wherever I seem to turn, I'm shown the way (sometimes embarking on scenic detours...which can be beautiful!)

I've had some small doubts about why I had to return to the States. That was not really part of my hope since I feel like I belong out there so deeply. So I've had a lot of "whys" rolling around in my head. "Why must there be this tug of war going on inside of me when I found what makes me happy?" "Wasn't that the destination???" And so on.

I suppose this is all part of the trust lessons. Since the initial anger, I have settled down (as much as I can right now) and made some short term plans which I am hoping to leverage into long term stuff. I've traveled a bit and met up with old friends who have given me perspective and new ideas. This has all led to the beginnings of a new map. These things might not have occurred had I jumped blindly into something straight away. One of these leads will, hopefully, lead me back to the UK...so that is super exciting. 

Late last week I enrolled in an online health coach training course! I have been wanting to learn more and become certified in helping others to empower themselves and take control of their health...be informed. And I would like to use these tools as well! I've been into this stuff for a long time so it will be nice to eventually have some street cred to back myself up with.

And there is, of course, culinary school and the adventure that awaits depending on which State and school I settle into for a time. I like the idea of broadening my life experience with living in different places (even here in the states). I feel like threads of what I want my life to be made up of are spread out over the world and I'm trying to figure out how to weave them all together.

Spring is a time for new beginnings. Shedding the shackles of Winter and stretching towards the Sun.

XO

Switching Gears

17 April 2013

Duck pond in Old Mystick Village


The structure/themes of my Wednesday posts might be changing a little bit. Since I'm still rather up in the air and don't have a creative space to work in I don't have a lot of art projects in the works...

So Wednesdays might be a bit of a wild card for now. I might end up using it to post a photo or a poem...something light for the middle of the week (a photo of Jamie during our travels...) I'll see what spirit moves me to do.

After writing my Monday blog (Addicted to Awesome) I felt pretty good and full of power and possibility. Then, in the wake of those good feelings, I saw the breaking news about the Boston Marathon bombings and felt such a mix of sadness and anger. So today I'm keeping it light.

The above photo marks the beginning of my Great New England Road Trip, which began officially on March 21st. As a warm up, my friend Becki and I drove around CT a bit, including Mystic. We walked around downtown, ate ice cream and took photos. It was a lovely day.




XO

Good Eats

12 April 2013

Eating out in my hometown


After over two weeks on the road, I am finding it hard to settle into an "eat at home" mentality. Not much cooking going on, but a lot of good eating. Not necessarily healthy though...

As I sat and enjoyed the above sandwich (I had a craving while walking around the main street area) I was ironically reading an e-book on nutrition that I'd downloaded onto my iPad.

I know that once in a while I will eat something that's not so great for me. The trick is to do so without guilt.

Before writing this post I enjoyed some spinach pizza and am currently having some beer. Two of my favorite things. And I relished every bite/sip.

I believe we should enjoy what we eat...no guilt...and I intend on pursuing this in my future work. I hope to get back into a healthy routine...and creating healthy versions of the things I love to eat most.

I admit I've fallen off the wagon a wee bit. All I can do is brush myself off and jump right back on :)

***

Exciting news...I've been accepted into The New England Culinary Institute and have bought a plane ticket to fly down to Louisiana to check out another Culinary Arts program in May. I will keep you all posted as to which program I end up choosing.

I'm also in the process of checking out an online wellness coaching course.

I hope to make all these puzzle pieces fall into place one day. It's all working out inside my head...

XO

Getting the Creative Juices Flowing

10 April 2013

Garden Shopping in New Jersey


I LOVE going to garden shops...especially right when the weather turns warm for the season. While I was in New Jersey this weekend, we went from Winter to Spring, literally, over night...

I accepted a wonderful invitation to New Jersey this past weekend and ended up participating in the ritual of getting out all the Summer furniture. This is something that brings on the Spring feelings, at least in my book.

Sprucing things up in order to relax all summer...wandering through aisles of plants and gardening gloves with dreams of sweet smelling, freshly cut grass and sun baked earth.



Gazing at the gazing balls...



The warm weather evolved in a instant. One day we were shivering in the wind and the next we were spray painting chairs in short sleeves.

Amazing.

It really brought out the art student in me :)



After photo of our handiwork



The warm air, sun and Spring aromas make me want to wander around with my camera and write poetry. You all might even see a bit of it on here...

XO

Trusting the Path

08 April 2013

Window Shopping in Mystic, CT


As I write this, I'm still in travel mode...hanging out in New York City (a huge THANK YOU to my Sister, Brother in Law and Nephews for letting me stay with them) and preparing to venture out to the Jersey Shore for the first time! All this travelling has been proving to me that when you jump, the Universe will provide a net...

I've never had the time to travel in an open ended way before. It's really amazing! My friend, Becki, organized our New England road trip as we went...calling ahead to our next anticipated stop and every piece (effortlessly) fell into place as we forged on. Truly remarkable. Also, my New York stay was only supposed to go through to April 3rd, and then I was invited to New Jersey. This has also reminded me how amazing the wide net of friends I've been gifted with over the years is...most recently, the Iona branch.

I feel at my best when stretching myself and moving around...seeing new things, so this time has been one of renewal for me after having to leave Scotland/the UK. This trip has confirmed how much I love to travel, even on a local level.

Next up? After a few small day trips in the Connecticut area...I'm flying down to New Orleans in May! I haven't been down there since 2001, so it will be much different this time. Then, I will be travelling north to check out a culinary program.

All very exciting and filled with Hope, Faith and Love...and sometime a little bit scary. I have also been trying to do more things that scare me lately. No jumping off bridges...at least, not in a literal sense ;)

I've found that to be the best way to approach the future. Whatever works, is meant to be and whatever doesn't, well, wasn't.

As some of my friends said to me while on Iona, "If it's for you it will not pass you by"

XO

Eating on the Go

05 April 2013

 
Street Falafel in NYC


One of the things I do miss from NYC, is the food. There was no Mexican food on Iona :) I was also pining for some street gyro...

The first thing I ate when arriving back in New York, after Iona, was pizza down in the village. 

These past couple of weeks, I've been indulging in some street cart food, among others...



Ben & Jerry's!

Mac & Cheese!

Lamb over rice!

Falafel over rice!

Pizza!

Everything bagels with cream cheese and Greek salad! (a new discovery!)

Cheese burger and Cajun fries with Scottish Beer!

Spinach Salad! (to counteract all the grease and meat)

Guinness!!!

Coffee and donut while walking downtown!

Another everything bagel with tuna salad!

Copious amounts of Tea!



The list goes on and on...


One of my favorite things about travelling, is the food...

XO

Hanging Out in New York

03 April 2013

Spending time on Pier 17


Hello everyone! I'm still on the road, so to speak. I seem to be extending my stay in New York a wee bit. Gasp! I know, but it's all good...

Not to worry...I don't have any plans to return here, I've simply been using the time to reconnect with friends and to do a photography job. I have some plans on the horizon. More travel and web based things. I want to fix my photo galleries, create a Facebook page for the photography...do more with Jamie and work on art pieces (eventually) again. 

I'm also looking into studying wellness coaching on top of going to Culinary School.

Lot's of stuff stirring!

XO

New Horizons

01 April 2013

Touring Ben & Jerry's


Another short post today, as I am still on a vacation of sorts. Since March 21st I've been travelling around New England ending up, now, back in New York City (just visiting!). It seems that life keeps on showing me the way...

I started my journey, in Connecticut, when a friend from Iona joined me in my Smart Car for a trip up to Vermont. We were going to tour The New England Culinary Institute and visit another Iona friend. After all that, we ended up spontaneously touring New England itself!

I will write more about our adventures in a later post...I'm still immersed in it all to properly reflect. I will say, though, that it has reminded me about the best parts of myself and allowed me to experience different facets of life in order to help me carve my future path. I feel quite blessed.

While in Massachusetts, visiting a friend, at the beginning of the month (the travelling goes on and on!) I read an article on Raptitude about how we tend to live our lives in the default position...and that story led to another about how to find our way. The latter impressed the idea that we must try things in order to know what we like. I've been thinking a lot about these two pieces of writing over the past week. I am seeing, first hand, how true it all is.

Here are links to the articles:

"Most Lives are Lived By Default"

"How to Find the Way"

I keep remembering the phrase, "If it's not enjoyable, it's not sustainable." I am trying my hardest to live by these words.

XO

Cooking Away

29 March 2013

Shopping While in Edinburgh


One of the things I find fun about travelling, is experiencing every day activities like shopping. While in Scotland, I didn't have easy access to grocery stores (on Iona). We had to make the big trip to Oban just to go to Tesco. When I was in Edinburgh, in November, I had one right around the corner...

It reminded me of shopping when I lived in New York. Returning home with full grocery bags to restock the cupboard. I loved experiencing that in Edinburgh...a place I feel so much at home to begin with.

I love walking up and down the aisles of foreign stores, looking at all the labels and (sometimes) the different names of products we have here in the states. It fills me with such glee.

More often than not it makes me angry that I can't get certain things here. :( 

The lack of high fructose corn syrup is lovely. And seeing eggs stored on the shelf! The shorter shelf life of snack foods! I love seeing the differences.

It's all another thing I miss.






These are some of the things I made that week in Edinburgh. I bought a few things and made something "new" every day.

XO

Witnessing Creation

27 March 2013

More from the Iona Craft Room


It is always fun to see what people can create with their bare hands. Working in the craft room put me front and center...

The above dinosaurs were effortlessly put together by a young guest who I had the pleasure of spending time with. His knowledge of everything dino was astounding and head spinning at times. They were only about an inch big, which made them even more amazing!


Seeing things like this take shape always expands my creative horizons and puts a huge smile on my face!

XO

Long Walks and Time

25 March 2013

Can you spot the Jamie in this photo???


One of the things that I am grateful for right now, amidst all the uncertainty of my life, is that I have tons of Me time. This has included long walks in some of the places I've never spent much time in. I've been practicing using my GPS and driving my new car at the same time...

So far I've visited Fort Trumbull State Park, Devil's Hopyard, Harkness Memorial State Park and most recently...Bluff Point State Park. And, as I write this, am about to embark on a road trip to Massachusetts...followed by another to Vermont. I'm also planning another trip to check out more future options. I'm trying to look at all of this from the angle of gratitude rather than worry about the money. In order to move on and into the right places, we need to explore our options with a full heart, not a fearful one.

I think we, as Americans, need to feel like we've earned our down time and so we don't tend to take any unless we've killed ourselves in some sort of work pursuit. I've been struggling with all this since coming back and not working. Or at least, not working for money or food and lodging (like I did on Iona). I have tried very hard to re-shape my thinking because what I am doing right now IS work...very hard and emotionally draining work. It's a shame I can't get paid for all of this time...the time it takes to mindfully choose the next steps in life.

I am lucky. I built a somewhat sturdy financial foundation before I went to Scotland. I have a place to lay my head right now, food to eat and time to figure all these things out. Counting blessings is an important part during the more difficult times. I fall short often.

The walks have helped as well. There's nothing like aimless strolling through nature to get your brain ticking away. I don't always get all the answers to my questions when I walk out of that forest...but sometimes I figure out the beginnings of those answers.

XO

Fireside Cooking

22 March 2013

Waiting Out the Storm


When the blizzard of 2013 hit my neck of the woods...the power went out for over a day. A blessing it wasn't longer. It was cold, however and we needed to eat during that day. Our fireplace made sure we didn't freeze or starve...

It was sort of like camping!

I had some experience from an open hearth cooking class at Mystic Seaport back in 2011, but I recommend you don't necessarily try this at home. The bacon grease splashed and it took forever to get the water to boil (it was fun, though).

We feasted on eggs, bacon and toast and hot tea to go with. 

XO

Bone Deep

04 March 2013

Heart on the Wall - Finlarig Castle, Killin, Scotland


I recently read an article about "Bone Knowing." It spoke to me on such a deep level. I thought, since I am to explore love this year…this can apply to love. And, as we all know too well, love can hurt, sometimes, at a bone-deep level. Love of all kinds...

Sometimes we can love so bone deep it hurts…and sometimes we hurt ourselves by keeping love out of our bones because we are afraid of that hurt. Whether it be while we love or after the love is gone.

I have found there is an equal hurt in holding the love back. It's sort of like when I am nervous to drive somewhere and I tense up every muscle in my body. I'm still getting to where I need to go, but not enjoying the ride AND all my muscles and joints ache when I get there. And then my mind is focused on the hurt rather than the Love.

I know that, in my life, I've wasted a lot of energy on the hurt (whether it's the aftermath or anticipation) than the love.

I wish I could declare right here and now that I will no longer do that. I can say those words but my brain sometimes defaults to the old ways…the knee jerk reactions. But I will declare that I shall try. That the next time I react out of fear I will stop, breathe, and love myself enough to ride the wave rather than seize up in anticipation of the hurt. I will make decisions based on love, not fear.

Because, this year, the word is LOVE.

XO

You can read the original article here: "Bone Knowing: Wisdom is Real"

Craftastic

20 February 2013

The Iona Craft Room


While working on Iona, I was moved from the kitchen into the craft room for two months. It was really interesting working on the outside for a little while. The kitchen was more behind the curtain kind of work, whereas the craft room and programme team got you mixing with the guests a lot more...

Every day I put on my craft room apron and entered into that space with the task of helping people create. Something completely new to me after years of taking art classes and doing my own work. Turning things inside out was a challenge.

While working there, one of the main things I heard was, "Oh, I'm not creative."

And why did they think this? Because someone, somewhere in the past had told them. Someone else's opinion had formed an inaccurate picture of who they were and as a result they'd missed out on years of artistic expression.

I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Advertising Design (so I'm technically qualified to call myself an artist) and even I have periods when I think I'm not talented. Artists can be critical, but deep down I know it's not true because I've been creating art for as long as I can remember. I'm lucky though, growing up I never had anyone tell me I wasn't creative. Being part of an artistic family helps...but support for my interests helped even more. As a kid I tried anything artsy that struck my fancy because I never had any reason to think I wouldn't be able to.

Words are so important. They can stay with a person for years, shaping their decisions and their self confidence.

I feel so lucky to have been a part of the Iona Craft room. I got to witness light shining out of people's eyes after they'd finished the painting they never thought they could do or the collage they were amazed they'd created. The excitement was so beautiful.

Sometimes they'd follow up their triumph by saying, "Oh well, it's just a bit of fun," or "But I'm no artist," and I'd reply, "Of course you are! Look at what you just created!"

Everyone is an artist and I hope some of those people left the island finally believing that.

XO

Love is All Around

18 February 2013

Walking in Presteigne, Wales


As I said in my last post, LOVE is the word for 2013. So I am going to make that the theme on here as well. You can find love everywhere...

There is love of place, people, food, objects, pets...you name it. I intend to explore it all. LOVE of life in general.

It's so easy to be in love with everything when things are going your way and everything looks rosy...much more difficult when things aren't so awesome.

I was having a conversation with a friend, who also lives outside of "the norm," and I said, "Apparently I'm only happy when doing things I deem awesome." Then she reminded me that life can't always be like that...there have to be down periods. I suppose those are the times we gather direction, strength and knowledge for the next upswing. I keep reminding myself of this!

One of the things I try to do are daily gratitude lists. Instead of counting down all the things that aren't going so well, you shed light on the things that are. I fall short of this daily practice a lot...but I do notice a mood shift when I participate. Even if it's as small as, "I am grateful for the honey on my breakfast toast."

Daily gratitude is something that I love...but resist in moments of self sabotage. Being happy takes so much more effort than being depressed. It's a job all on it's own!


My gratitude list for today:

~Food

~Shelter

~People who care about me

~Infinite possibilities

~My car

~Internet access

~My life experiences

~Music

~My camera

~My knowledge

~Tea :)

XO


What are you grateful for today?

Making Sense Out of Nonsense

16 January 2013

Wandering the streets of Appledore, Devon, England


No one told me leaving Iona would require rehab. Seriously...the past few days have been all kinds of chaos in my head and heart. I think I might need to go on retreat to sort things out. Oh, the irony...

I'm not writing this to discourage all you creative dreamers out there. I am SO grateful for my dream come true and I know this is merely another line in my song (as my lovely friend Kim said to me). However, Iona was part of the journey...not the destination. It was A destination, but not the final one. I have plenty of stuff I want to do. I'm just trying to clarify and pick a step to take now and so far, I'm having a difficult time getting excited. I think I need to be a little patient with myself. I don't pine for Iona specifically (it was time to leave), but I do miss the UK. I always do when I leave. It's been that way since I went out there in 2004.

I flew back to the states on January 12th because I had to in that moment. My visa ran out and I was exhausted by 7 months of work and amazingness...sometimes laced with fear too. It was well worth the confusion I'm going through right now, but I'm not a big fan of feeling like this.

Some go out there and return to the life they left behind...

Some go before starting a new chapter...

Me? I quit everything and went to change my life. I took a huge leap of faith that something would come of it. That shaking things up would make a difference and I would know where I was going to next. It certainly made a difference, but I don't know where I'm going next...besides Connecticut, for now. 

I don't doubt that going to Iona was what I was supposed to do. It gave me more than I thought it would. It returned pieces of myself I hadn't seen in years or ever, for that matter.

What am I doing to combat all this uncertainty right now?

If I'm being honest, some moments I feel like going into the fetal position with some ice cream for about a month. Talking with friends has helped me to not do this...so I thank you one and all.

On the more proactive side, I've been looking up retreat centers and emailing them about possible employment and looking into getting a car so I'll be more mobile. I will also set up some sort of internet access so I can continue the search and continue with this site.

I have a few creative product ideas fluttering around in my artist's brain, so I can't wait to get my materials back. 

I'm looking forward to having my wardrobe expand past three possible outfits when I return to Connecticut...and I can't wait to get back to making all my herbal concoctions again. That will be heavenly and return some peace to my heart.

I've also been coping with my sadness by photographing a rather adorable knitted Highland Cow wherever I go (more on that later).

Writing this blog post has helped.

Most of the time though, I want to hop on a plane and go back to where I felt I made sense.

I just want my life to make sense again.

On the plus side...the last time I felt discouraged and wanted to change my life I had huge obstacles like debt, a job and an apartment slowing me down. It took time, but I was still able to achieve living in Scotland for 7 months. Starting on my next goal should be a piece of cake. Whatever that goal ends up being.


XO

At Home in Edinburgh

26 November 2012

Walking Down The Royal Mile


The first thing I want to say is that I love Edinburgh. I want to make that clear before I say anything else...

Last week I was on holiday all by myself in Edinburgh, a city I have always been able to see myself living in. I stayed at Craigwell Cottage again, one of my favorite places to stay. 

Did I have a good time? Yes and no.

It took me a few days to get back into a city rhythm after being on Iona for so long. I had a feeling it would. Also...the last time I was in Edinburgh, I shared Craigwell with a friend of mine (see "Silly in Edinburgh" Part 1 and Part 2). A very different holiday experience.

I cooked for myself all week which was lovely and cost effective...but it was sort of lonely. What makes a city fun is sharing it with friends. It sort of reminded me of my lonelier moments in NYC. You can be surrounded by people and feel more lonely than if you were out in the middle of nowhere by yourself.

Funny, isn't it?

I felt the most balanced when I was meeting friends out at pubs and cafes. The house did feel empty upon my return though. I'm so used to sharing my space with others now. Don't get me wrong...having my own room is a blessing...but there needs to be a balance. Having alone time and loneliness are two different things.

One of my fellow Iona vollies, Dawn, said that I must make sure to keep some sort of "urban skill" which I think is good advice. I just think I might do it a little bit different the next time around.

These are gifts...to be learning even more about myself. Another thing Iona has given me.

XO

P.S. I'll share some photos of my cooking adventure the next time ;)

X’s and O’s

04 September 2012

Writing on the window


I'm spending a lot of time this week thinking. An enormous shock to all who know me well. I tend to be inside my head a lot. I am finding, however that I am definitely in the moment a lot more these days. I find I am completely good with where I am. Another shock to you all, I am sure...

I've been mostly thinking about all the changes in my life. How, a year ago I was most likely sitting on my couch watching TV with some yummy food I'd prepared, but alone. Although with the time difference, perhaps I was still at work :) Either way, I'm happy to be HERE right now.

I have TV in my hotel room...a weird thing after not having it for 3 months. I feel sort of odd watching it now. After a day spent walking along an old railway line in the Western Highlands of Scotland...rambling over rocks in a burn (stepping in said burn...) and eating a tuna sandwich with cucumber (yes, to all who know how much I dislike them. P.S, I like them here) while sitting on a stone wall over that same burn, TV felt like filler. Sad face. Sad face? No, I'm simply used to spending my current down time in the lounge chatting with friends and knitting...or napping or walking around the island.

There is more human time and random hugging. And creature time...when I come across some sheep or cows. I will never get tired of sheep and cows! 

I'm having a great time here in Crianlarich; the mountains fill me with another type of joy I almost cannot contain, but it will be nice to go back to Iona. I haven't had my fill of her yet.

Community living is teaching me a lot of things...and it's something I'm going to devote more time to writing about. With another wave of friends leaving the island tomorrow, I will be returning to a whole new world and should have even more thoughts.

XO