25 March 2013
Can you spot the Jamie in this photo???
One of the things that I am grateful for right now, amidst all the uncertainty of my life, is that I have tons of Me time. This has included long walks in some of the places I've never spent much time in. I've been practicing using my GPS and driving my new car at the same time...
So far I've visited Fort Trumbull State Park, Devil's Hopyard, Harkness Memorial State Park and most recently...Bluff Point State Park. And, as I write this, am about to embark on a road trip to Massachusetts...followed by another to Vermont. I'm also planning another trip to check out more future options. I'm trying to look at all of this from the angle of gratitude rather than worry about the money. In order to move on and into the right places, we need to explore our options with a full heart, not a fearful one.
I think we, as Americans, need to feel like we've earned our down time and so we don't tend to take any unless we've killed ourselves in some sort of work pursuit. I've been struggling with all this since coming back and not working. Or at least, not working for money or food and lodging (like I did on Iona). I have tried very hard to re-shape my thinking because what I am doing right now IS work...very hard and emotionally draining work. It's a shame I can't get paid for all of this time...the time it takes to mindfully choose the next steps in life.
I am lucky. I built a somewhat sturdy financial foundation before I went to Scotland. I have a place to lay my head right now, food to eat and time to figure all these things out. Counting blessings is an important part during the more difficult times. I fall short often.
The walks have helped as well. There's nothing like aimless strolling through nature to get your brain ticking away. I don't always get all the answers to my questions when I walk out of that forest...but sometimes I figure out the beginnings of those answers.
XO