22 April 2013
Pemaquid, Maine - March 2013
Spring has sprung and even though it is still a wee bit chilly here in Connecticut, I can feel the changes in the air. I have been a bit restless with all the brimming possibilities starting to pool around me yet still in the distance. I've been taking steps toward them all but waiting has never been one of my stronger qualities. I tend to want things, well, when I want them...
This is not helpful when trying to chart the unknown territories of life. I mean, seriously, everything is an unknown even when you try to plan. And perhaps I am feeling a little bit of angst for the changes. However, despite the uncomfortable feelings, one amazing thing has occurred to me...
I am not afraid of "choosing the wrong thing."
This used to plague me and hold me hostage. I would take forever to make a new move because I was afraid it might be wrong. I think, since leaving my job of 11 years and moving to Scotland for 7 months, nothing can really worry me when it comes to plotting out my life. The lead up to that decision was SO long in coming and plagued with worry right up until I committed to the final plan. And then I had absolutely no doubt. I wasn't sure where it would lead, I only knew I was going in the right direction. While on Iona I began to think of life as having some sort of "Divine GPS" because wherever I seem to turn, I'm shown the way (sometimes embarking on scenic detours...which can be beautiful!)
I've had some small doubts about why I had to return to the States. That was not really part of my hope since I feel like I belong out there so deeply. So I've had a lot of "whys" rolling around in my head. "Why must there be this tug of war going on inside of me when I found what makes me happy?" "Wasn't that the destination???" And so on.
I suppose this is all part of the trust lessons. Since the initial anger, I have settled down (as much as I can right now) and made some short term plans which I am hoping to leverage into long term stuff. I've traveled a bit and met up with old friends who have given me perspective and new ideas. This has all led to the beginnings of a new map. These things might not have occurred had I jumped blindly into something straight away. One of these leads will, hopefully, lead me back to the UK...so that is super exciting.
Late last week I enrolled in an online health coach training course! I have been wanting to learn more and become certified in helping others to empower themselves and take control of their health...be informed. And I would like to use these tools as well! I've been into this stuff for a long time so it will be nice to eventually have some street cred to back myself up with.
And there is, of course, culinary school and the adventure that awaits depending on which State and school I settle into for a time. I like the idea of broadening my life experience with living in different places (even here in the states). I feel like threads of what I want my life to be made up of are spread out over the world and I'm trying to figure out how to weave them all together.
Spring is a time for new beginnings. Shedding the shackles of Winter and stretching towards the Sun.
XO