Not All Those Who Wander are Lost

02 April 2012

Made for Walking


I have started putting my old blog posts up on my Pinterest page and in doing so have been reflecting on all I've done over the past few years. Blogging is an amazing way to record our lives and take stock. I can even see the changes by looking at my Facebook profile photos. Something in the eyes...

My Saturday was spent seeing The Hunger Games with the girls followed by lunch and movie discussion at Max Brenner's near Union Square. I highly recommend! The place is fun, the food is tasty and the chocolate is free-flowing:

Mexican Hot Chocolate and Chocolate Stout

Then I had more time with my nephews (we watched Newsies!) and I collapsed gratefully into my bed at the far end of the day.

The title of this post amuses me because I spent most of Sunday watching LOST. I needed to take a day where I didn't have to do anything or be anywhere.  Balance my energy a little bit...sleep in with no alarm...veg out. Delicious.

Not all wandering has to be done abroad or outside either. I have had many journeys in my own apartment or sitting around a table with friends.

XO

P.S. Check out my Pinterest board for new and old posts. I've added a "My Travels" board and am currently pinning up my 2010 trip to Dublin. I love how visual Pinterest is. You can basically create a virtual dream board.

Artist Block

28 March 2012

My Studio


I'll admit it...I'm suffering from a little bit of artist's block, if there is such a thing...

Monday morning I found myself in the village with extra time on my hands and so treated myself to a wonderful early lunch in the garden room at La Lanterna Caffe. I sat next to the fountain and had the space to myself for part of my stay. 

It was heavenly. After I finished my Canadian Bacon & Brie Panini, I enjoyed the rest of my organic breakfast tea and wrote on the back of a random printout I had in my bag. A true and unexpected artist date.

Last night was a different story. I was feeling too drained to create after a long day at the office and my noisy upstairs neighbor disrupting my peace. I couldn't even bring myself to make dinner...opting for take out pizza instead.

How do you get back in the creative groove when life gets in the way?

XO

Present and Accounted for

26 March 2012

Sunrise on Dun I, Iona - April, 2011


I just had a weekend of togetherness. I spent Saturday at the Open Center participating in Celtic Spirituality: The Spirit, the Earth and the Human Soul with John Philip Newell. Some of you might recognize that name from my Iona Pilgrimages (Matter Matters and Pilgrimage for Change). Yes...it was like taking an Iona refresher course...

The whole day reaffirmed my need for community. I met a lovely new friend at the registration desk and we enjoyed some wonderful conversation all day. This tends to happen when I get involved with these J Philip Newell experiences. Wonderful new friends who add little bits of wisdom to my journey and let me know I'm on the right path.

As the day progressed I got to know a few more of the folks and saw evidence that there are members of my tribe everywhere. I need not go to Iona to meet them (but I do so love going to Iona). The week-long retreats had the added blessing of time. Time to get to know my fellow travelers/pilgrims through mealtimes and Pilgrimage walks. I am a very lucky girl to have experienced it twice so far. 

We took part in a wonderful Body Prayer...something I last did on the grounds of the St. Columba Hotel, facing the Sound of Iona. I could not only feel everyone in the small room taking part in the prayer, but all the wonderful friends I'd done it with on Iona...during both trips. It was a very powerful experience.

I came out of the workshop renewed for sure.

Then I spent some time with my nephews. The evening ended with the 3 of us snuggled on my bed. I wish I could carry those moments around in my pocket...they are so precious. 

Sunday was spent with everyone at Zenon in Astoria (Greek food!) I believe the first time I ate there I was in Middle School so a pretty familiar place. Some of the best times are spent laughing around a huge table filled with food.

And to round out the weekend, I met some lovely fellow female artists during a gathering for our International Women Artists' Salon. 

During the Celtic Workshop we discussed presence. How sometimes simply being there is what is the most important thing. You don't need to say anything special or amazing...being there and holding space for others can be more powerful than the most researched and well prepared speech or presentation. I found this notion to be so liberating. In essence, we need only be ourselves to make an impact. This made me feel so much more in the flow...no need to try to impress or say the "right" thing. 

I mulled this all over as I spent the evening watching TV in the same room with my nephews as they played their video games...occasionally getting up to watch and chat. The fact that I was with them was enough...and we all ended the evening curled up together like a bunch of kittens :)

I also thought about it while sitting at the table eating delicious Greek food...delighting in what ever words might come out but also relaxing into the moments of silence while the chaos of the restaurant and other conversations swirled around me. It was all such a gift.

And by the time I met with the women artists I was quite comfortable with it all. How amazing these moments can be.

I am here. And all is well.

Body Prayer

XO

Tearing Down and Building up

19 March 2012

Things all over the place...


I love it when life shows you just how much you've changed...how far you've come. It can be as simple as misplacing something and the resulting search...

Over the weekend I had that annoying situation of not being able to find something that I'd moved in order not to lose it. Humph.

So I spent most of Saturday on the hunt.

However, instead of getting really mad or whipping myself into a frenzy like I would have in the past, I calmly pulled everything out and went through it. All the while practicing gratitude even as the angst built up inside (I am human, after all).

Why the gratitude? Because the search was giving me a good excuse to go through my stuff and purge a bit...do some much needed Spring cleaning.

I eventually found what I was looking for and was very proud of my accomplishment, even with almost everything I own sitting in piles threatening to trip and or smother me.

Then I gave myself permission to rest before continuing. Thankfully, by the end of the day my place was looking close to normal again. Better than normal because there was less to overwhelm me.

I take comfort in these little victories and lessons about life.

I used to think that life was all about the build-up.

But I suppose there would be nothing to build up if we didn't tear it all down once in a while.

XO

Girls Night In

12 March 2012

Let the Good Times Roll


Sometimes, there's nothing better than a good old fashioned slumber party...

Friday evening I packed up my cupcakes and headed to my friend, Sara's apartment for some spirits and a Slings & Arrows marathon.

I was greeted with a hug and some Glenfiddich.

I love her :)

For some reason, every time I stay over her place, we don't go to sleep until after 3AM. It really does remind me of slumber parties when I was a kid.

I think we all need nights like that once in a while.



We ate the cupcakes for breakfast Saturday morning. I think my Dad would have approved.

XO

No Reruns Here

27 February 2012

My Bookshelf


I feel compelled to contribute something to Danielle LaPorte's "what’s one dumb thing that you used to believe in?" post...

When I was little I used to think that life was like TV. That there would be reruns.

Laugh if you will but I thought that there would be re-dos or...something. I don't really know what I thought. Possibly a mark of watching a wee bit too much TV. Ironic that I ended up working for TV Guide Magazine, no?

I remember very clearly the day I stopped and thought..."Wait...this it IT?" I only have one go at it??? I believe I was watching Three's Company at the time :D

So if there are no reruns, I guess we better make it count the first time around, no?

XO

The Journey

20 February 2012

Iona Pilgrimage, 2009


I spent a good part of the weekend in a Reiki class...which left me pretty spent, and introspective...

So, today is a quiet day on The Lion's Share. 

Yesterday, as I was passing my bookshelf, I thought I'd revisit one of my favorite poetry collections: "Ten Poems to Change Your Life" by Roger Housden.

This is the first poem in the book:

 The Journey

by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.




Happy Presidents Day.
XO

Sprouting

15 February 2012

My Heather Plant in Her Prime


I've had a small piece of writing published in Sprout Magazine! A wonderful new e-publication started by Amanda Fall of Persistent Green...

The new issue, which came out today, is titled "Home."

I chose to write about the moments leading up to my first time in Scotland.

You can download the issue using the links below. I am also an affiliate so your purchase will spread the love!

Details:

+ the home issue
+ 60 vibrant full-color pages (PDF instant download)
+ gorgeous viewed on computers, tablets, or smart phones
+ hand-painted backgrounds
+ handwritten notes from me to you
+ art and photography
+ poetry
+ essays
+ creative prompts to cultivate boldness in your own life

$6 single issue. 3-month subscription: $15 (save $3). 6-month subscription: $30 (save $6). 12-month subscription $60 (save $12).

Guests in this issue: 

Thrive interview series: Katie Clemons of Gadanke and Making This Home
 
artists & writers:
Jenn Gibson, Jennifer W. McCullough, Amanda Oaks, Hannah Marcotti, Kelly Letky, D Smith Kaich Jones, Leah Piken Kolidas, Heather King, Kristin Noelle, Julia Fehrenbacher, Maureen Helms Blake, Scott Simpson, Tammy Lee Bradley, Michele Bergh, Jenny Maroney, Lee Ann Monat, Rachel Greenhouse, Laura Boggess


Click here to check out Sprout!



XO

Mood Lighting

13 February 2012

Inside My Whisky Glass


I've been hitting the town a lot the past couple weeks...for various reasons...and getting home pretty late. I'd almost forgotten how great a night out with friends can be. The latest (and most recent) outing was to "Highlands" on West 10th street...

I have to say, the Haggis was outstanding...and the warm beet salad. Yum-O.

The company was stellar, as always...and silliness and laughter filled the air.

After over a year of no haircuts, I had decided to visit my salon (Whistle, on East 10th Street) and thought it a shame to go straight home with my hair looking so fabulous. I was so glad I did. My spirits were running high...feeling lighter after shedding some of the weight that was tangled up in all that excess hair. Highlands, being on West 10th seemed the logical (and most Scottish) choice. I'd been wanting to try it out for ages.

Funnily enough, I had planned to go there on it's opening night a couple years ago but then couldn't because I was flying to the actual Scotland. So this was my chance!

Thankfully, I thought to bring my camera so I thought I'd share some mood shots. The place is pretty dark, and lovely.



My Innis & Gunn



Water Glasses



Water in a Whisky Bottle and an "Iona Abbey" Cocktail...



The view from my seat



The End

XO

Love and Letting go

11 November 2012

Guy Fawkes Night


I am in another period of change and transition. Neither is easy but both are necessary...

Currently I am dealing with new relationship, new duties and a new place to live.

Winter is coming on here and I have moved back into the kitchen. All the volunteers left last Tuesday and the atmosphere is quite different. We are going within for winter.

My first three months here were an amazing time. I absolutely loved working in the kitchen. It reaffirmed how much I enjoy creating and sharing food with people. Moving into the craft room had its moments too...there was more guest contact and I had some really lovely conversations. It showed me how important it is for the guests to recognize the staff members and more than once I saw how my story could inspire. Sometimes it's difficult to see what amazing things you're doing when you are in the centre of it all.

Now, for a time, the guests are gone and I am enjoying a more homey, intimate existence. I have moved into vollie accommodation in the village where I have my own room for a time! I almost don't know what to do with my own space! I'm also in the midst of trying to plan yet another holiday and not sure where to go. Again, where do you vacation when you are living where you normally travel to? It's sort of surreal. And let's not forget that for the first time in 34 years I will be away from my family on Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year.

With all this also comes the knowledge that my time is running short. I really had hoped that I'd have some sort of inkling about what to do next. I'm trying to trust that the best is yet to come. I hate to think I came all the way out here to re-boot my life only to have to force myself back into a pattern that wasn't working. Iona has given me so many gifts that I want to move forward with. I cannot go back.

So I have begun a daily process of letting go. There seems to be a sort of give and take with my life recently. After all, we can't hold on too tightly to things because if they are meant to be they will come to or with us. It is an extreme lesson in faith, trust and most of all...love.

XO

Escape Artist

06 February 2012

Another Way I Escape


I have, admittedly been hitting the TV pretty hard lately. I think it started when I wasn't feeling well...and I also started watching LOST...

Then an addiction to Slings & Arrows spun into a borderline unhealthy love of Due South (any Paul Gross fans out there?); one show about a Canadian Theatre Company and the other about a Canadian Mountie. I guess I've been feeling my Canadian roots. Don't worry Scotland, you're still my number one ;)

However, with all of this laziness comes the need to not have to think too much.

As a result my Monday blog is what you read here.

I was wracking my brain for something to say and came up pretty empty...or rather, empty for things to share on the internet. I spent the weekend on a photo job and then alternately cooked, cleaned, drank tea...and yes...watched more Due South.

I do notice that I retreat into TV when I'm feeling less than fulfilled...but maybe that's okay at times. It always passes and I often pick up some new knowledge about myself along the way. I could choose to feel bad about it...or simply go with it as something I need right now. A little escape time.

Some days I simply feel too tired to do anything "real" if that makes any sense.


XO

Sunday in the Park with Pine

30 January 2012

Picking Fallen Pine Branches


No matter how many issues I have with living in New York City these days, I am extremely grateful that I live within walking distance of a Park...when I take advantage of it, of course...

Which I did on Sunday.

I haven't felt entirely well since before Christmas...a pesky respiratory situation keeps plaguing me, but I figured I'd been house-bound enough. I thought, "Hey...I need milk to make yogurt...why don't I bring my new camera and take a detour through the park."

:)

I also wanted to get some more pine to make medicines for my lungs. A win-Win situation. Practice with the new camera and Pine gathering...not to mention time outside. Very practical and a bit whimsical. Not bad :)

I stopped in the alley to put on my fingerless gloves and was ready. I can't tell you how right it felt to set out with my new coat, camera and those gloves...

As I neared the trees, I felt something give way inside of me. Like an internal sob of gratitude. 

I do so love trees.

I'm actually surprised I didn't spend more time wandering. But it was enough.

I met a few lovely souls along the way (some covered in fur) and felt immensely soothed in body and spirit upon my return.

At one point I happened upon various birds going about their afternoon, like I wasn't even there. There were robins, a red cardinal and a woodpecker. It was such a magical gift to stand there and be part of the landscape while they worked.

Then, after buying the milk, I went straight into the kitchen and spent the rest of the day and evening setting up some yogurt and various pine medicines. I even baked a bit.

And sang along to my iPod, of course.

Funny...the lungs seem fine enough after all that...and a nice bottle of Monster Ale ;)

Just goes to show you how much being out in nature alone can heal you. Or maybe it's simply living an authentic life. Hmmm...



My ultimate destination

XO

Swinging Into the New Year

09 January 2012

It's really hard to photograph your feet while swinging...


While in Connecticut for the New Year...we stopped at McCook's beach and park for a wee walk and some fun on the swings...

And I had the thought, that wherever my next home is...I'm going to install a swing in the yard. Sitting and swinging for a while really brought back a feeling of child-like abandon that I think is important to hold onto. Who's with me!?


The nephews seemed to enjoy it too...





Fun for all ages.

XO


Here are some more photos I took on New Years Day (click on thumbnails for full images):

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That's my Sister in the tree :)

This Year Went to 11

02 January 2012

Frosting Christmas Cookies


I'm not sure why...but my life seems to be made up of New Year's thoughts lately. Maybe time has been flying faster than I could have imagined. Maybe I am finally on my road and going forward...

Whatever the reason...I seem to be in a state of reflection once again, but this time in the grand "New Year" way. So I thought I might follow some other bloggers leads and compile a best of or favorites of 2011 list.

I started the new year online in a different home...and by Valentines Day was here. When I look back at the first post of last year (Happy Creative New Year) I am awed by how much I predicted and how much has happened. I am credit card debt free, a graduate of my herbal apprenticeship, and after another amazing trip in Scotland...on a new path.


So my first favorites of 2011 have to be my trip (back) to Iona and Edinburgh. I think my life can be split into two parts as of now. Before Scotland, and after. 


1. Time on Iona for "Pilgrimage for Change" (Iona 2011: Part I, Part II, Part III)

2. Feeling at home in Edinburgh (I'll Follow the Sun and Haste Me Back)

3. Graduation from Herbal apprenticeship (Transitions)

4. Open Hearth Cooking Class at Mystic Seaport (Hearth and Home)

5. Getting out of credit card debt (Saving Graces)  

6. Moments of Silliness (Hot Dogs & Horcruxes, A Bloody Good Time, Silly in Edinburgh: Part 1 and Part 2)

7. Getting out there and being a Photographer again (Black Belt Test)

8. Creating Custom Gifts (Back in the Saddle, Mighty Oak, Broken but Beautiful)

9. Fall Beer Tasting at Mystic Seaport (Beer Me!)

10. Weekend trips to CT (Memorial Day Memories, Cleaning House, A Dreamy Birthday)

11. Finding my essence (When the Stars Align, Daydream Believer, Camping Out in the Essence)

Having a blog is an amazing thing. I was able to really go back through my year and see where I started. It's amazing what can be done in a year. I am grateful that mine was filled with good friends, food, adventure and love.


2012 is going to be a whole new ball game...and I'm looking forward to the ride. I hope you all will join me!





P.S. If you'd like to see all my Scotland posts, I have put them up on my Scotland Board at Pinterest...

XO

Whoa there

12 September 2011

Time to acknowledge the "Ick"

I have been sort of going down a spiral the past week or so...and then everything sort of collided. It wasn't catastrophic, but it was certainly enough to make me feel crappy....about a lot of things.

One problem certainly is that I haven't been getting enough sleep. I've been in that down state where I simply don't want to go to bed because then it will be another day of the same thing. It sort of feels like when I wouldn't want to get up for school.

And all the dark energy surrounding this started to manifest physically.

I was having stomach pains that distressed me so I made an appointment with my doctor. She instructed me to shift my diet (more leafy greens!) and cut back on fat, sugar and dairy for a while. AND...to get more exercise.

:(

I suppose beer is included in the cutbacks, although I don't drink it every night. I will use my own judgement on that one ;)

Okay. So I've told you about how craptastic I was feeling...now, here's what I did about it.

I found myself focusing my thoughts and energy on Iona. I can't even remember the exact memories...all I know is that I actually felt myself transported...while standing there, wedged inside the subway car during rush hour (my least favorite time of day). And I very quickly began to relax. I even imagined I was hiking up Dun I instead of trudging up the subway stairs en route to my office.

Then, later, I needed to print out one of my Edinburgh shots for a project I'm working on (more on that later) and viewing photos of my time in Edinburgh also soothed my soul.

So what's the moral?

Perhaps when you call on the place your soul lives, it will come to save you.

And the funny thing is, when I was walking into the subway I said to myself, "What will Save me Today."

Scotland always comes through for me.

********

I wrote the above on Thursday before going into the weekend. I had mentioned my acid reflux to my herbal teacher and she simply pointed to her throat and said "Anger."

Yes.

I have been harboring a lot of anger lately. And while anger has helped me in the past to make huge life changes...currently I am holding it in because I feel a little stalled and powerless...combined with my dislike of New York etc.

And to make matters worse...my old self has been talking down to my current self...undermining the progress I've made and planting doubt in the life I am creating, the new chapter I'm moving into. I feel like I've been doing everything wrong lately.

A lot of food for thought.

After this enlightenment, my apprenticeship circle visited a woman to do a group healing. This was the first time we've done that. It felt amazing. It bonded us even more as a group and helped me heal a bit as well. I left the place more bright-eyed and purpose-filled.

And then the demons came back in a fierce way. Undercutting the sense of self with the old "you're not good enough" messages.

Whoa there indeed. 

I spent the rest of the day sort of betwixt the worlds. Not feeling in my power at all.

But the healing energy of the women helped keep my wits about me...see the duality I had going on (and it's still going on, if I'm honest).

We piled back in our car  at the end of the day and had an adventure back into the city...a few of us extended the night by having dinner at a diner in Brooklyn. And what do you know...as we sat down to eat, I noticed that the burning and lump in my throat was gone. Totally gone.

After spending a day surrounded by healing, I healed too.

By the time I got back to Queens I could feel the lump a little bit again but now I was armed with knowledge. Knowledge about where I am going, where I am...and how my body responds.

I'm going to keep the moral of the first story and pair it with the second. Hopefully I will find my bearings again and silence the voices of doubt. I suppose I should take my herbal Sister's loving advice and tell the voices to sod off :)

Or maybe I need to make friends with them.

XO